In a thoughtful mood

So many pictures of the past year, so little published. Oh, well, we’ve been the best kind of busy – having fun with the girls’ activities and continuing to work on the house. It’s been very fulfilling.

I’m in a thoughtful mood tonight – thinking of hormones (not mine,) growing up, lots of talks needing to happen to train up my children and trying to find receptive times for those talks. I think my kids still have a lot of receptiveness towards me, but I can’t deny the fact that things are changing around here! More warp speed than usual this summer too. I could go on and on about time passing too quickly, and I have, but this is different. This is whiplash. (That’s where the hormones come in. Ahem!)

My beautiful Sedona is like a flower ready to bloom. She has this humor and look about her. Man she is gorgeous. And a handful at times! She is finding her way between pulling closer to us and pulling away. And I won’t deny that it hurts. (I’m not just being sentimental – Girlfriend knows how to use her words…let’s leave it at that.) I know there’s a book out there about cherishing those last first times. Yep, we’re right there! I took for granted that I would be sudsing her hair for a little while longer (something I have loved since she was a newborn,) and with one excellent American Girl book on hair styles and hair care, she is pretty much all about doing it herself. It’s appropriate that she would at her age of course. But it was literally overnight!

But it’s so cute too, because she has all these labels of “morning hair” (braids to keep the tangles out) and “pool hair” (pigtails.)  She braids my hair and gives me hair advice. (!!!!) It’s fun. And I love that she is caring about how her hair looks. It is an improvement on the bedhead-to-school look (not that we saw that around here of course! Hypothetical bed hair I mean…well, no, actually their were times that the level of bed hair was in direct proportion to how ready for vacation we were!)

Right now the girls are cozying up in Marissa’s bed talking about swim lessons and school starting,  and they’re having just the best heart to heart.  It’s balm to my soul to hear them bonding once more.

I wish there was a key to knowing when to back off and when to pull closer.  I know they need both right now. And what I need is discernment!

 

And some private time with each child.

Marissa still needs to be my little girl - even though she’s been “in charge” of her own hair since kindergarten- so funny. She was born ready to take on the world. She never even knew she was a baby; she just thought she was Sedona’s twin! But now, she needs time to play with her dolls and read storybooks with me, and to just.be.little. Life is easy breezy for her right now, and I just want to soak that up!  I love my time in her drama-free zone. (Not that she doesn’t have her times of massive drama; this summer just hasn’t been one of them!)

On the other hand, Sedona needs time alone with me so we can talk about some changes she may be facing. She needs me to hear her big ideas – if she wants to share them, which she usually does. She needs to have book discussions over her many chapter books. She needs me to hear her poetry – and her jokes.(Oh, my. 8 year old humor is something else!) And she desperately needs me to figure out her love language. I just can’t seem to show how much I love her in a way that she hears these days. And when she is in a snuggly mood, it’s usually when I’m exhausted. But we’ll find our way. What she doesn’t know is that we were quite the pair when she was a baby. And though she is a long way from being my baby, and yes, (sigh) there was some displacement when Marissa came along, we will always hold in our hearts that precious time when she was my world. And she still is my world! But in a different way. These days it looks a lot like carpooling everywhere, to be honest. But it is one of my ways of supporting her many talents (gymnastics and music, to name a few) and showing her that I believe in her.

Whew! Wow. It is a daunting task to parent girls of this age, and always a delicate balance!

It’s a balance of taking care of myself, too, to model to them and as well as for my own survival. There’s many a time I shout the “Calgon! Take me Away!” plea. On Facebook. Because I know the other Mamas have got my back. That’s where it’s great that the trade off of more independence is more time to pursue things that help me recharge – gardening, crafting, house remodeling, furniture upcycling…actually most of those things are exhausting! But they’re also exhilarating and keep me going until I can get a nap or a little computer time. And it never hurts to have some of these guys around for a little loyalty fix.

Here’s to you, Moms everywhere! We are an awesome bunch; dedicated in ways we never dreamed. And thankful to be here, with these little humans, doing what we do. And trying not to go too ballistic when the hormones and their accompanying attitude shows up. What was that I was saying about Calgon…?

(Not that they’re paying me, but this always makes me smile. And that is why I say it. It’s the “Serenity Now!” of the early 80’s.)