It's 5 o'clock. I loathe this trying time of day. Chris will be home at 6:30. I have an hour and a half to try to find the energy to do a little more cleaning, scare up a meal for dinner, discipline the kids who seem their most out of control at this time and give myself an attitude adjustment. I caught myself acting like I didn't want to be here this morning. Shame on me. I have been given healthy, beautiful, funny kids, and it's appalling to think I would act that way. Like I was being put upon to mother and nurture these children or something. Not an appropriate attitude, but at least I caught it.
Being a stay at home mom is isolating. It's a privilege I'm thankful for every day, but it's isolating. The alternative reared its ugly head earlier this month when Sedona had four major tantrums in six days. (Yes, Bubbe and Mammy, there were MORE!) No, she doesn't really tantrum that much anymore at her age, so it was a bit of a concern. But looking back at our jam-packed calendar for recitals and end of school activities, plus the fact that we'd had three trips in four weeks, it started making sense. Then she came down with a little cold, and the facts really became clear: the kid was over-extended, burnt out, overwhelmed, tired and coming down sick.
She's doing much better now (although still challenging- I had to get a ladder to help her down from a very high branch when she climbed a tree today, all while convincing Marissa that it was NOT the opportune time to chase Bounder into the other yard-Yikes! Thank you, God, for keeping them safe!)
The answer is obvious. While I miss getting out and about, it usually is only a temporary fix - and sometimes an expensive one! Emotionally and financially. The girls needed downtime, and they needed it badly. We have some lovely playdates on schedule, plus some other summertime activities of course. We'll look forward to those, but we're also looking forward to a much slower pace. Aaah. That's better.
Now to get those little bodies outside so that I can keep some of my discipline tricks for another day. Oh, who am I kidding??? I've got nothing! But it somehow seems more proactive this way, right?
3 comments:
oh, joanie, i'm sorry its been rough. know that you are loved! and i hope we can get together again soon. and thanks again for the other day. did those flowers ever bloom?
Yes! The flowers did bloom. Gorgeous. Thanks for the encouragement - we're fine, just tired. We'll definitely get together soon!
amen! it's so hard sometimes! i feel it too, sister! how wonderful that you were able to catch your attitude AND change it. that's the hard part!
we are sort of having the opposite problem--too much down time. my boys need to go. go and do anything! but mommy can't do much! too much going/doing is not good, but too much resting isn't good either!
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